Jun
10
Why Women Don’t Just Tell Men What They Want
Filed Under Dating Advice, News | 3 Comments
This was recently released by the guys at the Art Of The Pick-Up. It’s nicely written, check it out…
Is any of the following familiar to you?:
* You are interested in a girl and she seems to be interested in you. You get the courage to ask her out… but she makes an excuse or declines.
* You are talking to a girl and she tells you that she has a boyfriend, so you give up the thought of asking her out. Later you find out from a friend that the girl is actually single. Why did she tell you she had a boyfriend?
* You are on a date and no matter how well everything seems is going, you are not getting that feeling that she’s interested in you the way you’re interested in her. You are spending time in a nice place, having interesting conversations, but later even if you get the courage to make a move, she rejects it. She may even say outright that she’s “not ready” or “not looking for someone right now” (when you know for a fact that if a man she WAS interested in was right in front of her, she wouldn’t hesitate with HIM). She
seems to give you no indication of what she wants.
* You ask a girl what she’s looking for in a man. She tells you. It sounds exactly like you, but she doesn’t seem interested in you in “that” way. Why?
* You are in a situation where you’ve been pursuing a girl for quote some time, maybe even courting her, but no matter what you do, say, or try, she never seems to reciprocate the kind of interest in you as you have for her. You may even be direct enough to ask her why she’s not interested in you but she won’t say why orwhat she does say makes no sense at all.
I am not going to explain WHY women are the way they are.
It doesn’t matter, because what you really need to understand is how to READ them and determine what works and what doesn’t work.
Women almost never seem to be satisfied by the men they date or the majority of men who are interested in dating them.
Do you think it’s because those men truly aren’t up to par or maybe it’s because they simply don’t understand how to interpret what the women they’re interested in want and how to display those
characteristics?
Whenever a woman holds back on relaying to a man, any man, what she truly wants and what truly creates attraction in her, it could be one of 3 main reasons:
1. She thinks she’s telling the man what she wants, but she is only relaying what she consciously is looking for rather than what actually triggers her attraction and desires. She may at times make the active choice to follow her conscious “litmus test” but she will soon be unhappy with the choice, and seek another option.
2. She does know what gets her attracted and what gets her truly interested, but she decides to keep it to herself.
3. She doesn’t actually know what makes her attracted to any given man, she just “knows” and simply rejects the approaches of many men until one comes along that simply “does it” for her.
Do you know what’s great about those reasons? …
They don’t actually matter!
Most people don’t know how a TV works, either, but they do know that when the “ON” button is clicked on the remote the TV turns on.
We don’t need to understand how a picture tube works; we don’t need to understand infrared light, or what a cathode ray tube is.
All we need is for someone to show us where the remote is, how to pinpoint where the “ON” button is, how to click it, how to change channels, and increase/decrease the volume.
A TV can’t tell you how it works. It just does when you click the right buttons. Women are way more complex than TVs (and nicer!) but the concept is the same.
Women don’t come with instructions and they don’t WANT to come with instructions.
They don’t actually want to have to tell men how to attract them.
Sure, they will put on makeup, wear high heels, nice dresses, and spend hours and lots of money on their hair, but that is to attract as many men as possible in the first place in order to have a selection they can choose from.
Some women are so naturally beautiful that they avoid using too much makeup or over-doing the primping to avoid attracting too many men!
What women don’t need is a way to attract MORE men – they already have pretty much all that’s necessary and do what they can to optimize their fan base. What they need is a means to FILTER the
men who are attracted to them.
Imagine if every woman said “yes” to every man who ever approached her… OK, stop imagining Angelina Jolie saying “yes” to you… stay focused…
If every man knew how to attract every woman, this would be quite an over-populated planet and this newsletter would be called “The Art of Repulsing Men” and marketed to women!
So, you can see why women are not going to spell out what works for them, what stirs their attraction, even when they truly know. Some factors are universal to all women and many factors unique to each
woman.
No matter what the factor, a woman is not going to spoon-feed this information to any man who is interested in her.
Beyond the over-population issue, there is another factor involved.
When you read the last paragraph, you might have thought “But what if she’s already interested in the man who is approaching her? Isn’t it in her best interest to show or explain to him how to attract her?”
The answer to that is no.
How does she know this man is truly interested in her? How does she know the man is being forthright? How does she know that he’s really who he portrays himself to be? How does she know he’s not
dangerous or psychotic or might put her in harm’s way? The answer for her is to apply FILTERS.
Here is how a woman’s filtering process goes:
* She will not state or explain to a man what attracts her. If she does, it’s a façade to determine whether he will cater to the façade rather than maintain his integrity of who he truly is. Who he truly is may or may not attract you.
* She will observe his body language to determine how much he is in harmony with his own words. She can’t be attracted to a man who makes claims that don’t jive with his presence.
* She will observe how congruent he is from one moment to the next. If he acts too differently one moment to the next (in terms of personality not in predictability), then he’s not being congruent
with himself and she can’t be attracted to a man who may be putting on a façade. If this seems hypocritical, consider that men do it to get in women’s pants and women do it to avoid a man getting in
their pants who might cause them to feel “buyer’s remorse” later (or worse).
* She will talk in third-person contexts or relay stories of people she knows to see what the man’s real opinions are of things that may have more to do with her than the people in those stories.
* Immediate physical attraction aside, so long as a man doesn’t outright turn her off, and has interesting aspects to him, she will continue to interact with him long enough for something to “click”.
* Once enough time has passed where nothing has “happened”, she will presume he’s either not interested or doesn’t have the “right stuff” that makes her feel attracted and then no matter what happens after that the door is closed.
Even understanding this filtering process can help you quite a lot but, still…
How do you, as a man, determine WHAT a woman would truly be attracted to without expecting it all to be spelled out for you or to have a map drawn out for you? The ways to do it are:
*** Pay attention to the subtext of what a woman is saying.
If she’s talking about someone she knows in the third person OR any part of your intuition makes you feel like she’s talking about herself indirectly, then presume it’s meant to gauge your true opinion.
In that case, just acknowledge the story without sharing an opinion (keep her guessing) or (even better) turn the tables around on her by relating to the story through one of your own with a similar context.
For example if she says “I know this woman at work who’s hooked on an anti-depressant, she’s always worried that she’s messing up her life… do you think that hurts how attractive she is?”, you reply
with “That’s an interesting question, there’s this guy who lives near me that sounds just like her – what do you think?”
If she doesn’t want to answer, then change the subject.
If she answers readily, then you know the best way to answer.
*** Observe what she does, not what she says.
If a woman tells you she doesn’t like men who are dominant yet reacts more positively to you when you are dominant, then just ignore what she’s saying and continue to do what works.
The trick is to be more observant of her actions and not her words, if the context allows.
*** Understand women in general and what is attractive to them, in general, and stick to that regardless of what your friends, family, the media, or even women themselves tell you about what interests them.
*** Use women’s filtering tactics for yourself.
They may or may not know you are actively reversing their tactics but they will intuitively recognize that you are “filtering” them and not just catering to them to get in their pants like most men do.
Not only does this tactic help you understand their perspective and use it to your advantage, you will also increase your attractiveness to them by the mere act of doing so – because clearly only a man who would need to filter the women he interacts with is one who is chased by more women than he is interested in.
*** Initiate “tests” to or challenges to the woman that display you are aware of her coy subtext.
This one will take practice, and requires the vibe to be that of flirting rather than interrogation.
If a woman presents you with subtext that you know is a filtering ploy, then joke with her how obvious she’s being or how silly it is for her to be hitting on you like a piece of meat.
Obviously, this is not something that can be done just through words (you can’t read something like this and expect it to immediately work just by repeating the words) but if you understand what the vibe is meant to be and can maintain your congruence with it, then, by all means, use it to your advantage.
Jun
1
The ‘Key’ To Becoming GREAT With Women
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants, Internet Dating | Leave a Comment
I’ve been doing coaching for as long as I can remember now, and it still amuses me to see how guys are still writing in, always asking & looking for that one special “trick” or “line” that would ultimately get them to “seal the deal” with the women their eye-ing for.
Of course it’s totally understandable for us as humans to crave for “quick-fixes”, as opposed to taking the traditional, much slower route of banging against the wall, making mistakes, learning from those mistakes, analyzing what went wrong, refining & then “sharpening” those skills to mastery.
But the reality of it is, whether you like it or not, mistakes are an ESSENTIAL part to accelerating your learning process.
As long as you’re trying something new, as long as you’re doing something you’ve never done before, there aill always be a possiblity for you to fumble and make mistakes.
You might get nervous, you might say the wrong things, you might get clumsy and do the wrong things and it’s OK.
Mistakes happen as you’re out of your comfort zone. It’s an annoyingly umcomfortable feeling at first, but that’s exactly how you expand your horizons and grow.
That’s how we as humans grow.
Getting rejected, banging your head on the wall, etc is something you MUST go through in order to get better at this game.
However you hate it, IT IS STILL A MUST!
… no shortcuts.
Now, as men OF COURSE it sucks getting rejected, blown off, made like a fool in front of the women we like when things don’t go our away.
“How could I be sooo stupid!”
It kills our egos, it burns our confidence, it shakes our self-belief, it sucks the life in us, the energy within us, makes us feel useless, powerless, and stupid sometimes… but you know what?
There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.
Mistakes are the BEST way to learn, it FORCES you to learn, it reminds you of the PAIN you went through and it makes you not want to go there… ever.
Ever.
So, go on, take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
My personal life motto:
Dare to dream, dare to explore and dare to grow.
Think about it: If you don’t make mistakes, you don’t make anything.
So the next question that normally comes after this is “But I hate that feeling and I don’t ever want to go there… what it does is it kills us… and it’s not easy taking blows, one after another… it’s the aftermath, the dealing with it that’s the hardest…”
Yes, it’s true, it is DAMN hard… no one says life was fair, nor is it easy…
But here’s the thing: If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.
A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
Now, I’m not asking you to actively go out purposely looking for rejections, all I’m saying is that it DOES happen, you’ve got to be ready to face it when it does come and not run over to the corner, cry and complain that this isn’t what you’ve signed up for.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Do you want to be that guy?
I hope this posting helps.
I’ll talk to you again soon…
Your partner in crime…
Simon Heong
May
21
Magic Bullets Review
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, New Products, News | 4 Comments
Question:
Have you ever felt like no matter how hard you’ve tried; you burnt holes in your wallet going for seminars,
lair meetings, bought educational CDs, book, audios, DVDs, etc but STILL end up with less than “satisfactory” results with women & dating?
If you have, chances are, you aren’t REALLY getting how everything “works”… yet.
You aren’t sure how everything “gels” together.
I don’t know, maybe some of the stuff you’ve learned just ain’t “jiving” it right with you, it might be too
complicated to apply out in the real world, or it could be plain because things just aren’t making sense to you at all!
Whatever the reason, if you’re serious in wanting to get good at this ONCE AND FOR ALL, download this immediately:
I personally vouch for it 150%.
My personal opinion — It is for every guy, at ANY skill level.
In general, what I like most about it is that it explains the why’s and the how’s of the female mind, our
mind, the overall dynamics of dating & women in GREAT detail. This allows you to understand the reasons behind each phase and their overall objective and facilitates developing your own material and even improvising.
Another plus point is that it is designed in a way that you can just read whichever chapter you want depending on where you are struggling.
It simplifies even the hardest to grasp concepts and it is VERY linear & structured as a whole — to the
point where YOU can go from A to B to C and chart your progress while you measure your success with amazing women in a step by step way.
Pay special attention to the lessons on hook lines, flow, open threads, delivery & input. Go through them several times to ingrain those concepts within your personality.
Oh and just in case you aren’t familiar with Savoy (shame on you 
?
He co-founded Love Systems with Mystery who is the main man on his own MEGA-HUGE hit reality tv-show “The Pick-Up Artist” on VH1.
Savoy; Magic Bullets author & one of my long-time buddies, has trained many of the top pick up artists that are seen as gurus today, including Sinn, The Don, Braddock, etc.
For him, it’s always been about having the right FUNDAMENTALS.
As long as the required dedication to self improvement and a desire to succeed is continually focused on, ANYONE can be great with women.
“A system for attracting women is like a strategy for a basketball game. Some teams shoot a lot, others pass a lot and wait for a great shot. Some teams run back quickly on defense, others rebound aggressively. But if you have players who are good at the fundamentals any reasonable strategy can work. Just like if you have good dating fundamentals, many different systems can work.”
I’d say that this is *easily* the most complete, detailed, step-by-step system available for becoming the kind of man that women want to be with.
Get it:
You won’t regret.
Talk to you again soon,
Simon Heong
May
6
How To Be The Guy EVERYONE Looks Up To… Even If You’re 3 Feet Tall
Filed Under Dating Advice | Leave a Comment
You may know my friend Sean Stephenson – the “Three Foot Giant.”
Sean was supposed to be dead as a baby, with brittle bone disease. But, wheelchair bound, Sean turns 30 today, is featured on THE FRONT PAGE OF THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE – and is taping his first TV show out here in LA.
I want you to read the article about Sean and I give the link below.
But I want you to focus on what is, to me, the one key line in the article.
It’s when his mother asked him, after yet another of his 200 broken bones before he was 18 (!!!) – “Is this going to be a gift or a burden?”
I want you to ask yourself that question about any and all hardships in your life today.
And I want you to ask how you can turn any of your burdens into a gift.
Not just to yourself, but to all people, certainly to the women in your life — and to the extraordinary woman that you would like to inspire into devotion to you.
You can read more about the little “giant” here:
Will you do the same if you’re in his shoes?
Talk to you again soon…
Mar
31
Using Facebook To Get Laid
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, New Products, News | 2 Comments
Seems that everyone’s on facebook these days. And guys are constantly writing in asking whether that’s the place to be to find chicks for lays, well, check this article on retrosexuals (people who uses facebook to hook up with past sex partners):
She:
A few months back, one of my best friends from high school slept with the guy to whom, years earlier, she had lost her virginity. This time around, though, Suzanne wasn’t 16 and they weren’t in her parents’ basement — instead, they had wild sex in a Las Vegas hotel room. Around the same time, she got it on with the first love of her life, a boy she met during high school, and whom she hadn’t seen since he finished breaking her heart during her sophomore year of college. After reconnecting via Facebook and G-chat, they met up, and eventually hooked up.
These two incidents were hardly unique — last year she extensively mined her past for present romantic encounters.”In 2008,” Suzanne unabashedly shares, “I only had sex with two new people, but I never went longer than nine days without having sex.” There was really only one word to describe her (no, not that one). She had become a retrosexual.
The neology is obvious: retrosexuals are people who rewind their own lives, digging into their past to emerge with a current romantic partner. So, too, is the cultural context: like chicken-noodle soup or Beverly Hills 90210 DVD compilations, retrosexing lures its participants with promises of familiarity — a comforting concept that’s hard to come by in these complicated times.
A retrosex episode can fall into two major categories, with some subsets: a one-time hook-up or a longer-term romance. The textbook retrosexual, the perfect specimen, if you will, is the former — someone like Suzanne, who hooks up for casual sex with someone he or she knew in high school. Within this group are two narrower classifications: some retrosexuals, like Suzanne, have been there, done that; others might be reconnecting with old friends but hooking up for the first time.
Here’s an example of a conversation a classic retrosexual might have:
Retro: “I made out with Jon Whateverhisnameis last night!”
Friend: “Jon Whateverhisnameis? That guy you drank vodka with / gave your first blowjob to / studiously ignored at the 11th grade homecoming dance?”
Retro: “Yes! I ran into him / friended him on Facebook / saw his name on a mass e-mail a few weeks ago, and we’ve been chatting — he’s totally great now! We hung out last night and ended up sucking face in an alley.”
Friend: “Weird.”
The other type of retrosexual is someone who romantically reconnects with someone from their past, but not necessarily someone from high school or college. Ex-sex, in other words, but not sordid, desperate, we-just-broke-up-last-week-and-I’m-so-lonely ex-sex. More like, hey-let’s-try-this-again ex-sex. Or, old-habits-die-hard-for-a-reason ex-sex.
Beyond these broad definitions are finer distinctions, such as those who retrosex and then wish they hadn’t (call them “regretrosexuals”), or those who hooked up years ago and have no desire to be reminded of their past romantic encounters (see the sidebar “Fretrosexuals,” by Jeff Inglis).
Typically, the retrosexual must be 25 or older, because true retrosexing calls for some degree of reconnection or rediscovery, not to mention experience. Retrosexing is more common in large cities, where the chances of randomly bumping into an old friend or lover are always higher.
The popularity of social-networking sites — okay, really just Facebook — has made retrosexing all the easier. Whereas potential retros used to have to wait for their five- or 10-year high-school reunions to have old acquaintances fall into their lap, now they can simply search Facebook for high-school classmates and fellow college alumni, and re-establish contact without too much gumshoeing.
Why we turn back
Finding each other on Facebook might be how it starts. But how does retrosexualism gain traction, prompting the transition from innocent reunion to romantic attraction?
Consider Gillian and Chad, both 26, who never dated, but were part of the same circle of friends in high school. Their fledgling relationship epitomizes the most common type of retrosexualism: now that they’re older, they’re reconsidering a previously unexplored romance.
After graduating high school, they ended up at different colleges and lived for several years in different cities. They saw each other occasionally over the years, but neither one ever contemplated romance. Then, about a year ago, both of them ended up in New York City, where they started seeing more of each other in larger groups, gradually planning one-on-one meet-ups. As they became familiar with each other’s adult self, Gillian and Chad increasingly drew nearer.
Recently, they started dating. And while a romance when they were younger would have been unlikely (she was a bit too serious for his class-clown self), Gillian thinks she knows why she went retro.
“As we get older,” she wrote in an e-mail, “it becomes easier to retrosex . . . with old friends, because we’ve more or less finished ‘growing up’ and have less to prove to each other about our lives outside of high school. I also think we’re more likely to be impressed by our high school acquaintances . . . because we’re often surprised by their accomplishments. It’s like, one day you meet somebody, and they’re no longer the dork or loser or loudmouth in high school — they’re a professional man. Which can be intriguing and appealing.”
(The reverse can hold true, too. That guy who was hot 10 years ago might not have held onto his good looks, yet somehow he hasn’t lost his appeal, because you’re “still seeing them through the lens of their high-school appearance and persona,” says another occasional retrosexual, 26-year-old Sarah.)
Regardless, it’s easy to find yourself falling for someone with whom you share a history, whether that history was meaningful (you were involved) or fleeting (you were in the same biology class).
Gillian, who has had two retrosexual encounters over the past few years, describes the strange intimacy of hooking up with someone you knew as a teenager: “There’s a level of familiarity . . . that can actually make things awkward at first. Like, you’re seeing this guy who you’ve gone through so many years with, but now you’re both naked. [It] can be almost comical. . . . But it can also be amazing, because there’s this sense of connection that, although it might not be a true love connection, is unique in that there’s a finite number of people in the world you knew in the high-school context.” (For Chad’s thoughts about all this, keep reading.)
Indeed, that comfort and connection is the whole reason that retrosexing is so appealing, says Massachusetts love expert Paul Falzone, the CEO of the online and in-person dating companies eLove, Together Dating, and The Right One. In these rather desperate times, with the economy particularly terrible for young job-seekers, and the specter of Middle Eastern crisis looming large, all we can be sure of is that we can’t be sure of anything. “Society is going to see more [retrosexing] happening than in the past,” says Falzone. “It’s security, it’s safety, it’s bringing back old feelings that make you feel young again. People are resorting to things they’re familiar with, that they’re comfortable with.”
Of course, that same sense of familiarity is what so often drives us back into the arms of ex-lovers — even more recent ones. Callie, 29, recently reignited an old, extinguished flame after a three-year hiatus. When they met up for beers, after years of relatively sullen, angry silence, she expected a mere friendly reunion. But the outcome was quite different.
“When we saw each other, the chemistry was immediate and intense,” she says. “I remembered both why we were together in the first place and why we’d ended. There was the comfort of the shared past. We had an immediate ease with each other — one that was both relaxed and extremely exciting. A feeling of new romance, with the added benefit of having known each other extremely well. The nervous, fluttery, exceptionally turn-onable [feelings], combined with knowing each other’s backgrounds, likes, dislikes, senses of humors, families, etc.”
It makes sense that retrosexing is so appealing to twenty- and thirtysomethings, who otherwise feel adrift in their quarter-life malaise: participants are being permitted to regress. Romancing with people you already know cuts out one of the most harrowing elements of adulthood — forging new personal connections.
“[F]or the first time in your life, you are not automatically surrounded by people your age who are doing the same things you are doing,” wrote Abby Wilner and Catherine Stocker in their 2005 book, The Quarterlifer’s Companion:How To Get on the Right Career Path, Control Your Finances, and Find the Support Network You Need To Thrive (McGraw-Hill). “The challenge of meeting people and making new friends is one of the more common themes in the [quarter-life crisis] community.”
Combine the ease of Facebook socialization with the relative effortlessness that comes with chatting up old acquaintances, and you’ve got the lazy man’s dream-dating scenario.
Comfort levels
As with any unique type of relationship, the retrosexual one has its quirks. For one thing, it can be difficult to tell what’s romantic and what’s friendly, especially if the reconnection is made with a platonic premise. After all, archetypal implications of “dating” — like offering to pay for dinner, e-mailing or texting just for fun, or casual physical contact — are the province of friends and lovers both.
“You’re very hesitant to make your move,” says Chad, the 26 year old who recently started up a retrosexual relationship with Gillian. “You’re afraid you’re going to misinterpret signals. You’re not sure if what’s happening is romantic or not. You don’t know whether you should attempt to kiss the person.”
“The flip side,” he continues, “is when you actually do make some sort of move, you’ll be able to be really bold, because you already have a certain comfort level.” As a result, all those superficial worries — Who will pay? When will she call? Was that brush of the hand a mistake, or was it intentional? — become less nerve-racking.
Another complication can be the inevitable shared-friends group. Not only will the retrosexual duo make waves depending on how, whether, and when they spill the beans about their rendez-vous, they’ll also likely grapple with knowledge of their partner’s past intimate experiences. (In fact, this might lull some people into a false sense of security — as though knowing part of someone’s sexual past might make sleeping with them less of a health risk.)
And the better you know someone, the more dangerous it is if something goes wrong. Josh, 28, who sheepishly shares that he’s recently retrosexed with at least three women, acknowledges both the benefits and drawbacks of hooking up with someone you’ve known forever.
“The best part of that is the comfort level you have with someone beforehand,” he says. “Because you know the person, and if the timing’s right, it can be pretty cozy. The danger, though, is that afterward, things can change, and if you’re not careful, you might lose your friend. Which sucks.”
That is exactly what happened to Ellen, a 35 year old who recently found herself tangled up with an old friend from her junior-high days. When they first bumped into each other downtown, it was amazing, she recalls. They laughed and had a great time. When they finally had sex — once — it was awesome.
But Ellen had recently emerged from a four-and-a-half-year relationship, and wasn’t ready to jump into something new. She told him so. The dude’s extreme negative reaction (we’re talking aggressive e-mails, misogynist talk) was a shock, which made Ellen realize that, while he might be a cool friend, his romantic persona “wasn’t the sweet person I’d thought he was. We simply cannot be friends.” Perhaps if they’d never retro’ed, they could have preserved their relationship by avoiding romance.
Look at me now
As exciting as it can be, retrosexing isn’t all fun and games. The emotional implications of these blasts from the past can run deeper.
In some cases, retrosexuals seek to achieve something like vindication, or triumph, through their experience. Consider an accomplished, sexy woman who felt significantly less confident in high school — and allowed that lack of self-esteem to color her relationships with guys. These days, if she rekindles an affair with someone who shunned or mistreated her, she revels in having the upper hand. At the very least, she makes sure it’s an even playing field.
“A lot of it is about . . . feeling like I can correct for ‘mistakes’ in the past,” explains Suzanne. “Not just showing off an adult sexuality, but also being able to alter and correct for the power dynamics of years ago. With both S. [the heartbreaker] and J. [the Vegas fling], [her modus operandi] was kind of a, ‘Look at me now’ thing, like somehow, by virtue of seeing them and sleeping with them again and not caring about it, I was reaching back and repairing the hurt that had been done to me in the past.”
She, um, elaborates: “Like, yeah, ‘Look who’s all grown up and hotter than you now, bitches, so why don’t you shut the eff up and eat my pussy for the next three hours. Eff it . . . for the next three days. You’ve got a lot of making up to do for all those bj’s in high school.’ ” (Forgive her, she’s actually a very charming individual.)
And reconnecting with old lovers, ones who you shared time with later in life, can be even more fraught with confusion. Here’s what happened with Callie and her former beau after their brief renaissance: “The insecurities that I linked with being with him, ones I thought I’d gotten over, re-emerged. The casual re-exploration began to beg the question: ‘What are we doing, are we getting back together?’ which led to hard talks and confusing wants. [A]s we spent more time together, the reasons we’d originally broken up became louder than the reasons we’d been together.”
Still, upon reflection, Anne pinpoints the undeniable appeal of the retrosexual sex-perience.
“I don’t regret the reunion,” she adds. “It was a necessary final chapter. Impossible to resist for the combination of the new-ness and the familiarity.”
Callie might not be a regretrosexual, but she could have been. Indeed, for every retrosexual fairy-tale ending (They exist! We have Facebook status-change evidence!), there’s a regretrosexual one — which suggests that, even when it comes to love, very rarely can you go home again.