Oct
14
How To Turn A Friend Into A Girlfriend
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants, New Products, News | Leave a Comment
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Out of the THOUSANDS of questions that has been sent to me since year 2004, the most commonly asked questions are and will ALWAYS be:
“How do I turn a friend into a girlfriend?”
“How do I turn my “crush” to be my girlfriend?”
“How do I nail that ONE girl who only treats me as a friend?”
“How do I get out of the friend zone and get her to see me as a LOVER?”
I heard you LOUD AND CLEAR, and I’ve created a nice, short and simple video for you on how it’s done… you can watch it below.
Feel free to pass this video along to those you think are in “need” of it lol 
Enjoy!
Sep
23
How Women Want To Be “Sex-ed” Up…
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants | Leave a Comment
Check out this recent post in Craiglist… it was written by a woman whom errm… how shall I say.. is “frustrated”… I like these types. They’re direct. Upfront. They don’t play games. I mean, what’s not to like?
Let me know what you think, ya?… enjoy!
Dear Men of Craigslist,
Look, I know you men have it difficult. Women are just about impossible to understand, much less please. In a post-feminist society, you never know exactly what you should be doing. Women are bloody picky, I know we are. It can be scary, too, when women freak out about what appear to be benign issues. And men who do their best to be respectful, female-positive humans, I salute you, I do.
But please, please just fuck me already. Honestly, I appreciate your thoughtfulness. I like that you want to take things slow. I can totally get behind the idea of emotional connection, but dearjesusinheaven, FUCK ME. We’ve done dinner and drinks. We’ve gone dancing. We’ve cuddled and watched a movie. I’m wearing a low cut shirt and you’ve been staring at my breasts all night. Goodgodalmighty, get to it and fuck me.
When we get hot and heavy, please take charge. Please, please fuck me. Trust me, I’m not going to just lie still - I’ll get involved. But don’t make me force your hand into my panties. That makes me feel like a rapist. We’ve been kissing for a half hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That’s nice, but it’s time to move forward. Get on top of me. Don’t make me get on top right out of the gate and start bobbing up and down on your cock like I’m practicing some crazy new aerobic yoga because YOU won’t go down on me. Roll on top and start dry humping like a good boy should. Don’t gently suck my nipples and then pull back when I moan with pleasure. You being coy is totally not what I want. It’s not what WE want.
OK, I know it’s scary. There are lots of women out there who make fucking really difficult. So, I have compiled some handy tips. Don’t think of this as complaining, or as schadenfreude for the Andrea Dworkins of the world. Just some simple tips, for timid men who have forgotten what it means to fuck like men:
1. Taking charge is not bad. Oh, there will be some women who feel that you are pushy. If you are making out with a woman, and she starts to push back, ask nicely if things are moving too fast. If she says yes, say something like “I’m sorry - you just look so fucking delicious. I’ll go slower.” Otherwise, skillfully move forward. If you start kissing a woman, and she responds well, and before long, you’re both on the floor with her skirt pushed up, and you on top of her, it’s not the time to roll onto your back and start awkwardly stroking the top of her head. Seriously, grow a goddamn pair. YOU’RE the man. Act like one.
2. Ohmyfuckinggod, please learn to respect the clit. It’s different for every woman, so ask what she likes. Do not, I repeat, do not just wiggle your fingers around her pussy like you’re trying to tickle her. Do not drum your fingertips against her vulva like you are impatiently waiting at the Sears Tire Center for your receipt. Do not push the clit like it is a doorbell at some house that you need to get inside of. Start by using all four fingers with firm yet gentle pressure against the outside of her pussy. Do not charge in with a single finger and start jabbing at things. And if you really don’t know what to do, ask her. Just ask. “How do you like it?”. It’s a simple question, and most women will answer straight out. If she’s being all coy, ask “Do you like pressure? Is it sensitive?” The clitoris is a varied item, indeed. Treat each one as though you have never encountered one before. Forget everything that your last partner liked.
3. Most women like to be fucked, and fucked well. Yes, there are women out there who want to “make love” every time - sweet, gentle, rocking love with lots of eye contact and loving kisses. Those women are not the majority. The majority like to be pounded. The majority like to have their hair pulled. The majority like a good, solid jackhammering. When a woman is bucking wildly against you, it’s not because she wants you to pull back and slowly swirl your cock around her vagina like you’re mixing a cake batter up there. It’s because she wants you to hold down her arms, or grab her hips, or push her legs above her head, and fuck her harder. Don’t be too afraid of what this means as far as gender equality goes - I am a raging feminist bitch, but I still want to be penetrated like you are planning on fucking my throat from the inside out.
4. A little roughness is nice. Do not pretend that you had no idea that some women like their hair pulled. Do not act shocked if she wants you to spank her (”Really? Spanking? Won’t it hurt?” - yes, it does. That’s the fucking point). We know you’ve read Stuff and Maxim, and that’s all those laddie mags talk about in their “How to Please Her” sections. Start with light, full handed smacks to the area of her ass that she sits on. Judge her response and continue on from there. You don’t have to bend her over one knee and tell her she’s a naughty girl and that Daddy’s going to punish her; save that for the fifth date. Women are less delicate than you think, so don’t worry about breaking her hip.
5. It’s OK for you to make noise. Otherwise, we feel like we are fucking a ninja. Unless you actually are a ninja, and have sneaked into our rooms with vibrating nanuchaku and zippered black pajamas, please, please make some noise. If you’re banging a woman, and she’s crying out and saying your name and moaning, and you can’t even manage a grunt, she’s going to feel like an idiot. You don’t have to make the sounds she is making, but do SOMETHING. You know how when you are watching porn, and the girl does something great to the guy and the guy kind of goes “Ah!”, half grunt, half yell? That’s HOT. Do that. Whisper our name (assuming you know it) gruffly. Groan against her neck when you’re in missionary position. You don’t have to grunt like a mountain gorilla, but if you are totally mute, she’s going to get worried.
6. Most women like dirty talk, in addition to the grunting. If you’d like to get some dirty talk going, ask her if she likes the way you fuck her. If she responds well, continue with something like, “I love fucking you. God, you look so fucking hot.” Is she still moaning in response? “Your tits are so beautiful.” Does that work? If she doesn’t respond well to the term “tits”, you might have to stop there. If she keep moaning or responding, pass Go and collect $200. Try the following:
“Oh, god. Your pussy is SO tight.”
“You’re so wet - are you wet because you like the feel of my cock ramming you?”
“I think I’m going to come inside you. I’m going to fill up your little cunt.” It doesn’t matter that you’re wearing a condom; we LOVE hearing this.
If all of those work, you can then progress to things like “sexy little bitch” and “dirty whore”. Tread carefully, but please, tread. Do not tiptoe. Do not sit down. Charge.
6. You’re not obligated to eat a woman out. In return, she’s not obligated to choke on your dick. Don’t skip one and expect the other. If you do eat a woman out, the only comment you should make about her pussy is how nice it is. The length of her labia minora, the color of her interior, her waxing job or full bush - you are not John Madden. No time for color commentary.
7. Do not bitch about condoms. Oh, we hate them. Trust us. They hurt us more than they hurt you. But we don’t want to be preggers, and you don’t want to catch anything, right? Don’t whine about condom sex. Do not explain that you can’t come with one on. LEARN to come with one on, or if not, help us figure out what to do with you once we’re satisfied and it’s time for you to let loose your load.
8. We really like it when you come. It’s called a money shot for a reason. Watching semen shoot out of you is one of the most gratifying things EVER. However, do not assume that she wants you to jack it off onto her face. She might, but don’t assume. Seeing and/or feeling you come is rewarding for us, so there’s no need to deprive us of it, but please do consult us before unleashing. “I think I’m going to come - how do you like it?” is a fair question that shouldn’t rob you of your testicles.
In recent memory, I’ve been fucked by a very aggressive, manly guy, and I’ve been… well, fucked is the wrong term here. I’ve been penetrated by a total and utter wuss. Who am I going to run back to when I’m ready for my fill? Manly McHardon, that’s who. —————————————————-
*New point of clarification - some people have brought up some really great issues in response to this post, so let me say this: I don’t mean to imply that all women like to be treated like whores. I do mean to say that most women I know have told me that they like sex rougher than most men give it to them.
Rough does NOT equal chains and bondage. And this applies to the bedroom only, and does not mean that she wants you to choose her dinner for her, or treat her like less of a person.
**Some women have said that they don’t like it rough and what the hell am I thinking? Well, girls, you’re in the minority.
HOWEVER, all women need to remember that, in addition to be straight forward about your sexual desires, you need to be straight forward about your sexual limits. Don’t be afraid to ask for more, but when something feels wrong, say so.
Don’t ever do something you don’t want to do in silence and then blame the guy. Silence is dangerous.
Sep
12
The 3 Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Getting A Girlfriend
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants, New Products | Leave a Comment
One of the things that guys are asking more about - and it’s something that I’m all too happy to talk about - is the subject of relationships.
(Gasp from the crowd…)
Yes, despite all that you see on TV and hear from women out there, men really do want relationships.
And with ONE woman.
We want the power to have many women, and that’s what I teach you about here. But in the end, every man just wants ONE quality woman in his life.
There are a few mistakes guys make along the way, though, that keep them from getting a relationship they can fully commit to. (Yes, I know I used the “c” word there.)
I just want to talk about one of the biggest mistakes in this newsletter, and maybe I’ll cover the rest in future posting.
So what is this big mistake men make?
And - more importantly - how can you avoid making this mistake?
The mistake is simply one word:
SETTLING.
That’s right. As in “settle down.”
You see, “settling” is not a good way to view this. Guys look at it this way, because we’re trying to radically reduce the amount of drama in our lives. Guys just want things smooth and calm.
Settling - as it pertains to women and lifestyle - is defined as:
“Adopting a more steady or secure style of life.”
That sounds very nice, but the reality is that “steadiness and security” is what we seek when we’re trying to make things low-intensity.
Relationships, in order to last, must have some intensity to them. Excitement…
You ever seen a couple that has lost that “intensity”? They end up a bit… well, they end up boring. You’d swear they were brother and sister.
They start dressing and acting alike.
And often they start to LOOK alike.
They seem like activity partners rather than the jumpy horn-dogs they ought to be. They stay up to watch Letterman’s monologue, and then it’s off to bed…
Routine.
Well, this is the kind of relationship a lot of guys get into mostly because they want to stop “playing the field” and they want to “settle down.”
But what “settle down” really means is this:
Lock in some woman that you can comfortably keep around. A woman who will simply “settle” with you.
Let’s be realistic here. You don’t want a woman that’s going to drive you nuts with the level of intensity and drama that just gets your ulcers burning like a hot coal in the pit of your stomach.
On the other hand, you don’t want a woman who won’t challenge you and inspire you to grow and become a better person. Because THAT, my fellow Alpha Brothers, is what relationships are all about.
Not about dooming yourself into a 50 year relationship…
Not about “locking one in…”
But about being all you can be through the challenge of a close, intimate relationship.
You see, you’ll learn more about yourself in the context of a long-term relationship than you ever will in a series of “pickups” or one night stands.
So how do you avoid this trap of getting into a relationship - and then staying there - only because it’s less painful than being single?
Let me lay out the steps for you. These are the tried and true strategies I’ve used for years now, and they’re VERY effective.
Step One: Date as many women as you can…
That’s right. The best thing you can do as research for a long-term relationship - as you develop your dating skills - is to date a LOT of women.
You’ve probably heard me say this a million times, but it can’t be repeated too much. You simply MUST date other women. You don’t want to jump into a relationship just because you have nothing better going on.
You go into a relationship because that’s the next logical step on the path that you’re on.
You never want to feel like women are scarce, and that you must grab one up and marry her just because you think you might end up old and alone.
Step Two: Figure out what you’re looking for in a relationship along the way.
The one thing most people never do is look at their past mistakes and re-examine their true motives for getting into a relationship in the first place.
A relationship is something that should be a CHOICE, not something you fall into because you don’t want to be alone, or you’re afraid of hurting the woman.
This is a really common pattern I used to get into with women. It would start with a phone call to ask her out to do something, and the next thing you know, we’re in bed.
Wow, I said to myself. Now what? Oh, okay, I guess we’re boyfriend and girlfriend now.
It was just easier than admitting to myself that this wasn’t what I was looking for. I was also feeling guilty that I had slept with this woman, and now she’s going to want a relationship.
(You’ll find that this is BAD programming that a lot of guys have, here):
Getting into a lot of short term relationships helps you figure out what you want a LONG term relationship to do for you.
Step Three: Figure out what you’re looking for in a woman along the way - NOT in advance.
You won’t know this up front, and that’s why I made this step 3. You have to date a whole bunch of women to figure out what it is that you actually want from her when you find her.
I’ll tell you this - one of the biggest mistakes I see guys make (and it’s one I’ve made SO many times over the years) is that they want to date only one specific physical type, and no other.
In other words, they’re all hung up on the “librarian” type, or the “stripper” type, or the “rocker” type.
Sometimes it’s an appearance thing, too, like dating only blondes, or women with short hair.
I can tell you from experience that the woman you click with will probably NOT be the type you expect. In fact, the one thing that holds guys back from much faster success in finding the right kind of woman is often sticking too close to their “type.”
I always liked the short, gymnast type. You know, small tight body. Short hair.
I’m currently dating a tall, leggy Asian girl.
Go figure.
I also thought I’d enjoy a woman that was a firecracker - full of energy and sarcastic challenge.
Nope.
That turned out to annoy the hell out of me after a while. These women very often weren’t in touch with their femininity and that made it nearly impossible to have a healthy dynamic with her.
The point is that if you don’t date ALL types, you’ll fall into some predictable - and sometimes hazardous - patterns of behavior, because you’ll only be tuning your relationship skills to one kind of woman. And that kind of woman might not really be compatible with YOU.
So use this “dating around” time to really get a sense of what kind of woman you are capable of hanging with.
Avoid the dreaded mistake of “settling” for a woman. Instead, find a woman that you would dream of having, and then do the necessary research and field work (can you call this work?).
As I like to say, you should only be in a relationship with a woman who brings out the best in you.
There is no more important decision you will make in your life than which woman you will make your partner.
If you like this posting, wait til you see what’s here:
Until the next time…
Sep
2
The Best Way To Deal With A Woman’s “Drama”
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants | Leave a Comment
The following is a good article by my long-time bud Carlos Xuma, it’s really worth a mention and I want to share it with you guys… enjoy! 
Questions from readers are one of the best ways to really illustrate the inner and outer game of an Alpha Man, because I can give you some context for this mindset.
Every guy wants to be more confident, but you need to know by example what the person you want to be WOULD do in order to start steering your attitude. It’s a way of learning by example - sometimes called “modeling” in NLP terms.
This question is a great case in point…
QUESTION:
Alright, I have been reading your advice and following your teachings and I find myself in what I believe is a unique situation.
I have a girl that I want who is cool by herself but likes to hide behind some drama. I’m at the point where I want to tell her to pound sand because of all the drama, but it happened right at the time that she’s asking people if I cheated on her.
Sounds like perfect timing, doesn’t it? There’s always a catch though. In this case, she’s not wanting to hang out with me because of this alleged hook-up and I don’t want to hang out with
her because of the drama - as such we are at a stale mate.
Do I approach her about it directly or do I just move on with my life? She’d be a good girl if she could drop the drama. (yeah, there’s a bit of one-itis in there.)
Thanks bro, you rock!
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Well, if I understand your situation correctly, this gal is stirring things up as a method of shielding herself - and a way to push you away and keep herself challenging.
And maybe just because that’s the kind of chick she is.
Now before I go on, I want to take a second to point out something that most guys miss.
In every single question I get from guys on dating, attraction, and seduction, their question always has two parts: the inner game question and the outer game question.
Every guy asks me WHAT to do, but almost always ignores the fact that underneath that question is really a question of WHERE that action comes from.
What ATTITUDE and Inner Game do you have to have…?
In other words, guys know that there are good and bad ways to handle situations, and on some level they usually figure out that the understanding that helps them choose the right way in these situations comes from a WAY OF THINKING.
The guys out there that are good with women are NO DIFFERENT from you in any way … except ONE.
WHAT they are thinking.
That’s it.
So with that in mind, let’s hit both sides of your question.
First, the Inner Game part of it…
First of all, I want to point out the classical mistake in judgment that we all make, and that’s this: We honestly believe that our situation is DIFFERENT because we see all sorts of details and mitigating factors that other people don’t. So even when we know exactly WHAT to do, we don’t do it because we think we’re somehow exempt from the rules because our situation is “different” in some way.
For example, you are admitting there is some “one-itis” keeping you interested in this one woman. And if you know that, you also know that the solution is to date 3 other girls and see if this one really is so important or special.
You know that obsession is a dangerous thing.
And funny thing is this: We KNOW that this one girl would not be as interesting to us if we did the right thing and dated other women… but we don’t want to.
We actually WANT to stay in this drama because our brain enjoys the artificial high and stimulation the situation is giving us.
The fact is that human beings are FEELING CHASERS. We actually get a chemical buzz from the interaction with highly polarized chicks like this, and so we get caught up in their games.
The real core issue here though is this:
WHY are you being so reactive to HER drama?
You see, a woman is most attracted to a man she cannot push around.
The fact that she can modify your behavior with HER behavior gives her an element of control.
I want to point out what you said at the end of your letter:
“She’d be a good girl if she could drop the drama…”
That’s a bit like saying, “Yeah, it would be a great car if it wasn’t leaking a quart of oil every day - and the transmission worked.”
That classic statement is simply a RATIONALIZATION. A way of making excuses for my emotions keeping me in a losing situation.
(You can learn more about Inner Game here):
The car is NOT a great car, but I’m trying to make it one in my mind by justification and a whole lot of self-delusion. I WANT to make it a good car in my head, but it can never be.
Do you see the inner game you’re playing?
Do you see how emotions run you much more than you think?
And do you see why you can’t win it this way?
You can fix a car with a bunch of time, money, and effort. But you can’t fix women.
Let me say that one more time for the cheap seats: You Can’t Fix WOMEN.
You also asked me: “Do I approach her about it directly or do I just move on with my life?”
This is a false dilemma.
You can do BOTH.
Whether or not you like it, you’re always moving on with your life, because your life is moving on with or without you. It’s just a matter of choosing to think like the “you” from last week, or the new and smarter “you” that has evolved and matured and can let this stuff go.
So you can do BOTH.
You can also approach her directly about her interest.
Just don’t do it to confront her or to make her feel bad for her actions. Just accept the nature of her beast, and decide if you want to play this game to get a little fun.
Simply go talk to her out of curiosity. Do it about 25 minutes before you’re scheduled to meet up with some other woman. That will take the edge off. Then just have some fun and see what you can do with the situation. Treat it like a little experiment.
If you ask me, your stale-mate sounds ideal. You’ve gotten rid of unnecessary drama (isn’t that what you want?) and now she can go spoil some other guy’s life.
I’ve had girlfriends that acted all nice and cool when you were alone, but became instant attention and drama whores the second other people came into the equation. This indicates a high level of insecurity and a low level of self-esteem.
Remember: She’s not a great chick unless she’s ALREADY a great chick. You don’t need any more self-help projects.
Qualification of your prospects is what will ultimately create KILLER game for you, or just so-so results.
If you want to get GREAT at this, then I’d highly recommend you get this:
EVerything’s inside, enjoy!
Aug
21
What Women Want And Why They Do What They Do
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants | 1 Comment
Guys,
Read the following post:
It was an article, or shall I say a wonderful posting by a former model who is now a professional writer. It’ll help you understand why certain “complicated” women do what they do…
(Posting excerpted from Miss Model Behaviour)
Dear MB,
I was dating this girl for the past four weeks or so. She leaves at the end of the month. We go out on 3 great dates, make out, hold hands, all that. She comes to my place one night and…you know, things get heavy and I want it to go all the way, right? … She’s leaving anyway at the end of the month…but she complicates the whole matter of sex and doesn’t want to go through with it. I however, see it as a simple thing. She leaves soon anyway, so why not? Why do women make everything so complicated? Is it baggage or social stigma?
Ummmm. Where to begin?
Why do women complicate everything by actually thinking with our brains and not just our genitals?
Well,
In your situation, I think it has to do with metrics.
You know: her number.
There are some free-spirited women out there who get off feeling empowered by doing things like gangbanging in bathroom stalls, but most of us have a lot of self-consciousness or at least deep feelings around the number of people we’ve slept with. In a frightening modern world, I can only speak for myself and the women I know, but we’re all pretty interested in keeping that number as low as possible.
Why?
Because the textbook definition of a slut is someone who has slept with a lot of people.
This is why most women would rather get hot and heavy with an ex and tend to recycle men rather than getting involved with someone new (not to mention that getting involved with someone new can be terrifying since you’re putting yourself out on a physical and emotional limb).
Keeping this new perspective in mind, you’re just a bad investment. She’s moving at the end of the month and will most likely never see you again, so why would she want to up her number for someone she’ll only get to sleep with once? Either
a) She’s just not that into you, because trust me, if a girl’s into you enough she’ll throw common sense out the window. Also, I’ve had men say to me, “I know she likes me because she made-out with me.†That’s like saying, “I know the earth is flat because that’s what it looks like.â€
It’s just so wrong!
Some girls are make-out mavens, either because they’re drinking or making-out seems like good placation – a lot easier than confronting you or letting you down. If a girl likes you she’ll be making-out with you and doing twenty-five other affectionate things like consistently touching you, always answering your phone calls, immediately responding to your texts and engaging in sustained eye-contact. If she’s just pulling an occasional make-out without any of the other stops, I’d say she’s lukewarm at most, and just keeping you around for entertainment value.
b) Maybe she’s too into you and sleeping with you and then never seeing you again isn’t the ripping off a band-aid kind of pain she wants to engage in recreationally. Remember, for most women it’s extremely difficult get non-emotional about sex. And it’s not our fault. We’re biologically made this way for the purposes of child-rearing.
Which leads me to my next topic, “abandonment issues.†I’ve got abandonment issues up the wazoo and most of my close female friends suffer from the illness at some level as well. Once you take the plunge with someone, the fear is that they’ll vanish, disappear, go Poof!, walk out on you, leave you alone to rot. In your situation, there’s a guarantee of abandonment. She may be into you, but if she has her head on right she’s probably not going to want to sign up for that.
If you’re seriously interested in this girl, spend your time talking about what happens after she leaves. When you’ll next see each other, how much you want to keep in touch, stuff like that to quell her fears and help her understand that this is something you hope to continue on whatever level you decide. But if your approach is just, “let’s get it on before you get lost,†I can understand why she’s not…um…opening up.