Aug
18
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In the game of life, we are the player.
And we are also the opponent.
But we forget that we are also the referee.
And that we can change the rules.
3 strikes and you’re out?
No.
How about staying up at bat as long as you need to until you hit a single?
And while you’re at it, how about counting that single as a home run?
Make it fun.
It’s your life.
Your rules.
Carpe diem baby…
Live it by design, not default…
I’ll talk to you again soon… happy always! 
Jun
1
1) Understand that no experience comes labeled. You are the labeler.
The power to choose is yours! As William Shakespeare said, “Nothing is good or bad but thinking makes it so”. You and only you are the labeler of your experiences. Do you complain that roses have thorns or do you rejoice that thorns have roses? You have the ability to choose your reactions. All too often, these decisions to label are not done consciously and your internal dialog will slap on a negative label. You must be aware of this and change it immediately. Realizing your ability to label is an awesome power and a great step towards success. Upon taking control, you can select empowering labels in place of the negative ones. You are in control of the experience.
2) Avoid blaming yourself for making mistakes.
The road to success is always under construction. Every morning we awake to a day we have never seen or experienced. Mistakes will be made and obstacles will appear. You have no control over these events but you do control your reaction to them. It is important that we forgive ourselves for making mistakes. We need to learn from our errors and move on. It is when we hurt that we learn. The power to choose how much we learn is ours. Do you see a stumbling block or a stepping-stone? You decide.
3) Understand that like energies attract.
Like attracts like. Positive thoughts produce positive results. If you surround yourself in positive emotions, energies, thoughts, and people then positive events will be the end result. Unfortunately, the same is true if you surround yourself in negative energies. Do you know someone that is always negative and melancholy? Notice that bad luck seems to continuously follow them. They may say that a rain cloud is right above his or her head. Well, they’re right. And as soon as they realize that it is they who create that rain cloud they can chose to make it disappear. What you plant, so shall you harvest. If you plant rose seeds you get roses right? Plant seeds of happiness, hope, success, and love; it will all come back to you in abundance. This is the law of nature.
4) Determine what you want and act on it.
Imagine an archer that did not have a target to shoot his arrow at. He would fire his arrows aimlessly and would not be successful. Have a goal, write it down, and act upon that goal. Now that there is a clear target you can have a plan of action. A visible target it easier to hit. Nobody ever sat his or her way to success. It takes hard work, motivation, a positive attitude and a strong belief that you can do it. That combination produces what we call luck. Do not sit back and wait for life to happen to you. Have a plan and take the needed steps to create what you want.
5) Choose to feel happy.
It has been said “Act as if and you will become.” Try it. It really works. Put your chin up, smile, and think positive thoughts. Remember the happy times and notice all you have to be grateful for and you will feel lighter, happier and more empowered. If you frown, groan, grumble, and focus on everything wrong in the world you will feel down, lethargic and negative. Why bother with that? Identify the things and people that make you feel unhappy and eliminate them from your life. Nothing good can come from them. Choose to be happy and positive. Take steps to insure a more joyful and positive life. Do happy things; see positive movies, read good books, be around positive people, and practice affirmations. Identify the things and people that bring you happy feelings and surround yourself with them. Cultivate your relationship with yourself and you will be successful. Taking control of your life takes time and requires decisions. The rewards make the efforts worth it.
Print this post out, stick it in a place where you can face it every day.
You need to look at it EVERY DAY to make it work for you.
You must.
Must.
Now go do it!
Talk to you again soon…
Your buddy,
Simon Heong
Jun
1
The ‘Key’ To Becoming GREAT With Women
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants, Internet Dating | Leave a Comment
I’ve been doing coaching for as long as I can remember now, and it still amuses me to see how guys are still writing in, always asking & looking for that one special “trick” or “line” that would ultimately get them to “seal the deal” with the women their eye-ing for.
Of course it’s totally understandable for us as humans to crave for “quick-fixes”, as opposed to taking the traditional, much slower route of banging against the wall, making mistakes, learning from those mistakes, analyzing what went wrong, refining & then “sharpening” those skills to mastery.
But the reality of it is, whether you like it or not, mistakes are an ESSENTIAL part to accelerating your learning process.
As long as you’re trying something new, as long as you’re doing something you’ve never done before, there aill always be a possiblity for you to fumble and make mistakes.
You might get nervous, you might say the wrong things, you might get clumsy and do the wrong things and it’s OK.
Mistakes happen as you’re out of your comfort zone. It’s an annoyingly umcomfortable feeling at first, but that’s exactly how you expand your horizons and grow.
That’s how we as humans grow.
Getting rejected, banging your head on the wall, etc is something you MUST go through in order to get better at this game.
However you hate it, IT IS STILL A MUST!
… no shortcuts.
Now, as men OF COURSE it sucks getting rejected, blown off, made like a fool in front of the women we like when things don’t go our away.
“How could I be sooo stupid!”
It kills our egos, it burns our confidence, it shakes our self-belief, it sucks the life in us, the energy within us, makes us feel useless, powerless, and stupid sometimes… but you know what?
There are no mistakes. The events we bring upon ourselves, no matter how unpleasant, are necessary in order to learn what we need to learn; whatever steps we take, they’re necessary to reach the places we’ve chosen to go.
Mistakes are the BEST way to learn, it FORCES you to learn, it reminds you of the PAIN you went through and it makes you not want to go there… ever.
Ever.
So, go on, take chances, make mistakes. That’s how you grow. Pain nourishes your courage. You have to fail in order to practice being brave.
My personal life motto:
Dare to dream, dare to explore and dare to grow.
Think about it: If you don’t make mistakes, you don’t make anything.
So the next question that normally comes after this is “But I hate that feeling and I don’t ever want to go there… what it does is it kills us… and it’s not easy taking blows, one after another… it’s the aftermath, the dealing with it that’s the hardest…”
Yes, it’s true, it is DAMN hard… no one says life was fair, nor is it easy…
But here’s the thing: If you have made mistakes, there is always another chance for you. You may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ‘failure’ is not the falling down, but the staying down.
A man’s errors are his portals of discovery.
Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes.
Now, I’m not asking you to actively go out purposely looking for rejections, all I’m saying is that it DOES happen, you’ve got to be ready to face it when it does come and not run over to the corner, cry and complain that this isn’t what you’ve signed up for.
Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
Do you want to be that guy?
I hope this posting helps.
I’ll talk to you again soon…
Your partner in crime…
Simon Heong
May
21
I received this story in my email inbox this morning from CrossingTheGoal. I found it quite interesting and I feel it applies to everyone whatever you may be going through right now. Read it, it might apply to you too.
“Once there was a donkey that fell in to an old empty well. The farmer, who owns the donkey, looked at the beast and tried to figure how to get it out of there. Having thought of nothing to get the donkey out of the well, he decided to simply bury his donkey alive!
So the farmer called his neighbors to shovel dirt into the well. At first the donkey got frightened and panicked. After some time the beast realized that if he shakes the dirt of his back, the ground under him gets higher. He continued to shake the dirt off and step up until the well was full. I will leave to your imagination what the donkey did to the farmer and his neighbourrs when he got out of the well.
Many times we feel life is throwing dirt at us. Problems seem to hit us at all directions. Even when you feel everything is OK, suddenly dirt smacks you in the face. Sometimes you can even feel the bitterness of the dirt!
There are others who not only feel that dirt is being thrown at them, but feel that they are being buried alive. Their problems seem pile to up from one to the next, until their problems are bigger than they are. They feel like all the world’s trash is being poured out on to them.”
But we can use this dirt. We can use life’s problems and troubles to produce strength, wisdom, perseverance, patience and other virtues in us that will help us succeed in life. The dirt thrown at you can be use to increase your stature, your being.
We should imitate the donkey. Instead of giving up and letting himself be buried, he shook the dirt of off him. We too should learn to shake our problems and step on it. And like the donkey we will get out of the hole we are in.
St. Thomas Aquinas describes wisdom as the view from the hill top. We can raise our hilltops with whatever life gives or throws at us. The good, bad and even the most painful experiences can be an opportunity for us to grow in wisdom and virtues.
With much dirt under your feet, you have a better view in life. And you will see that the view is awesome up there!
Mar
23
How To “Romance” A Woman
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants, News | Leave a Comment
Good post from Donovan. Read it…
You’ve probably noticed that I don’t talk about the idea of “romance” very often.
There’s a good reason for this.
I think that most guys use romance in completely the wrong way, and in the process screw up their chances with the woman that they are interested in. I’m going to take some time here to talk about my personal perspective on romance, how it is misused, and how to use it to really make a woman feel attracted to you. Most guys make one of two main mistakes when trying to be “romantic”:
1) They try to use romance to CREATE attraction.
2) They use TOO MUCH romance, thinking that more must be better.
Let me ask you this… What does romance mean to you?
I’m serious. Think about it for a minute.
Does romance mean gifts and flower?
Does it mean fancy dinners?
Does it mean candles and soft music?
To me, romance is about showing a softer side of yourself… a more thoughtful side… in a way that is meant to INCREASE the woman’s attraction for you.
Like I just mentioned, most guys either try to use romance to CREATE attraction, or they do too many things in an attempt to “be romantic”, and the effect is lost.
Here’s a quiz:
In general, would a woman think you were more romantic if you:
1) Brought her red roses every time you saw her.
2) Brought her one flower the fourth time you saw her, but it was her favorite flower, in her favorite color.
…???
Here’s another one…
In general, would a woman think you were more romantic if you:
1) Took her to a fancy dinner every time you saw her.
2) Didn’t take her to dinner, but one night cooked her a favorite dish that your mom taught you and told her the story of how it came to be a family favorite?
Do you see where I’m going with these examples?
“Romance” is all about the context of the situation. In other words, little things that are thoughtful, used once in awhile will make FAR more of an impact than trying to do everything you possibly can all the time.
Have you ever seen a T. V. show or movie with a girl holding a flower, pulling off each petal one at a time and saying, “He loves me, he loves me not”? This is a famous cliche… even Madonna does it in her old “Truth or Dare” movie.
What’s going on here? And why is it now such a famous idea that it is almost universally known?
Because it strikes a chord inside of women everywhere! Every woman can relate to the idea of thinking about a man and wondering if he’s thinking about her. Pulling petals off of a flower and saying, “Heloves me, he loves me not”, is just another way of saying, “I can’t stop thinking about this guy and I’m going to keep thinking about him until I know how he feels.”
As you know, if you’ve read past newsletters and/or my ebook, I think that it’s important to CREATE this kind of situation as much as humanly possible. Now, here’s where romance fits into the puzzle… If you’re doing things that you considerto be “romantic” all the time, then she has nothing to wonder about… nothing to think about… there is no challenge or mystery at all.
On the other hand, if you use romance more carefully and keep her on the edge of her seat, so to speak, then a small romantic gesture will cause her to feel GREAT feelings of attraction inside… and cause her to work even harder to get and keep your attention – BECAUSE SHE’LL TRY HARDER TO GET MORE OUT OF THIS ROMANTIC SIDE OF YOU! So what are some things you can do, that women see as romantic, without going overboard?
Well, if you want to do the typical things like flowers, gifts, music, poetry, etc. then do as I said earlier: Use them VERY infrequently. Tease her, bust on her, treat her like a bratty little sister most of the time, then out of nowhere do something thoughtful. But make sure to stay cool when the emotional reaction comes!
She’s probably going to be very happy and want to know “where that came from.” Just tell her that you were thinking about her and move on to the next topic. Don’t get all mushy, dude. By the way, if you’ve gone out with a woman 47 times, and you don’t know if she likes you, and you’re now thinking, “Oh, hey… great idea! I’ll buy her a flower and she’ll feel attracted to me…” then get a new idea.
Romance isn’t a way to make a woman feel attracted to you.
Romance is a way to AMPLIFY attraction that is already happening.
Read that last part again… DON’T TRY TO MAKE A WOMAN FEEL ATTRACTED TO YOU WITH ROMANCE!
Attraction is created by factors other than gifts, dinners, flowers, etc. If she’s not feeling attracted to you, then showing her that you’re attracted to her probably isn’t going to change it… in fact, it may just push her away.
I know, I know… you once heard about a guy who pursued a woman for 9 years until she finally gave in and married him. Well, that might work, but I don’t have 9 years (unless it’s Cindy Crawford… yeah, I know she’s like 50, but she’s STILL hot).
Earlier I mentioned a couple of great ideas. You can cook her a special meal that has meaning… and tell the story behind it. Stories are romantic, especially if the story contains a love story.
And small gifts can be romantic as well (I don’t like big gifts because they change the dynamic of the relationship and can create all kinds of feelings that it’s a trade of affection for money, etc.).
If you pay attention, a woman will mention something that she really likes. It could be a kind of flower, a kind of music, an author, etc. If you want to be romantic (after you know that she’s attracted to you) you can get something thoughtful then write a card that says, “I was thinking about you, and I found this… thought you would like it. Kiss Kiss.” Use romance as the spice, and not the main dish. Use it to amplify, not as your main strategy. Romance combined with the techniques that I teach is a VERY powerful combination.
HOW TO CREATE A SETTING THAT AUTOMATICALLY CREATES AND AMPLIFIES ATTRACTION…
We just talked about how most guys either have no clue about romance, or they use it too much… which screws up everything for them.
There is one aspect of romance that I have found very useful to know more about and use. It’s the concept of how to create a SETTING that will create more of a feeling of attraction inside of the woman that you are with.
WARNING: What I’m about to share with you is not a magic bullet. It’s no substitute for a cocky, funny personality and great skills. Using this alone will not make you successful with women. With that said… I’ve found that there are a few things you can do in your immediate environment to “accelerate the mood”, so to speak, when you are with a woman.
Women have very active senses… usually much more so than men.
If you have already sparked the attraction between you and her, introducing certain sensory stimulus will usually increase the attraction, and can lead to a more, shall we say “physical” demonstration of that attraction.