Aug
21
What Women Want And Why They Do What They Do
Filed Under Dating Advice, Dating Wizards, General Rants
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Guys,
Read the following post:
It was an article, or shall I say a wonderful posting by a former model who is now a professional writer. It’ll help you understand why certain “complicated” women do what they do…
(Posting excerpted from Miss Model Behaviour)
Dear MB,
I was dating this girl for the past four weeks or so. She leaves at the end of the month. We go out on 3 great dates, make out, hold hands, all that. She comes to my place one night and…you know, things get heavy and I want it to go all the way, right? … She’s leaving anyway at the end of the month…but she complicates the whole matter of sex and doesn’t want to go through with it. I however, see it as a simple thing. She leaves soon anyway, so why not? Why do women make everything so complicated? Is it baggage or social stigma?
Ummmm. Where to begin?
Why do women complicate everything by actually thinking with our brains and not just our genitals?
Well,
In your situation, I think it has to do with metrics.
You know: her number.
There are some free-spirited women out there who get off feeling empowered by doing things like gangbanging in bathroom stalls, but most of us have a lot of self-consciousness or at least deep feelings around the number of people we’ve slept with. In a frightening modern world, I can only speak for myself and the women I know, but we’re all pretty interested in keeping that number as low as possible.
Why?
Because the textbook definition of a slut is someone who has slept with a lot of people.
This is why most women would rather get hot and heavy with an ex and tend to recycle men rather than getting involved with someone new (not to mention that getting involved with someone new can be terrifying since you’re putting yourself out on a physical and emotional limb).
Keeping this new perspective in mind, you’re just a bad investment. She’s moving at the end of the month and will most likely never see you again, so why would she want to up her number for someone she’ll only get to sleep with once? Either
a) She’s just not that into you, because trust me, if a girl’s into you enough she’ll throw common sense out the window. Also, I’ve had men say to me, “I know she likes me because she made-out with me.†That’s like saying, “I know the earth is flat because that’s what it looks like.â€
It’s just so wrong!
Some girls are make-out mavens, either because they’re drinking or making-out seems like good placation – a lot easier than confronting you or letting you down. If a girl likes you she’ll be making-out with you and doing twenty-five other affectionate things like consistently touching you, always answering your phone calls, immediately responding to your texts and engaging in sustained eye-contact. If she’s just pulling an occasional make-out without any of the other stops, I’d say she’s lukewarm at most, and just keeping you around for entertainment value.
b) Maybe she’s too into you and sleeping with you and then never seeing you again isn’t the ripping off a band-aid kind of pain she wants to engage in recreationally. Remember, for most women it’s extremely difficult get non-emotional about sex. And it’s not our fault. We’re biologically made this way for the purposes of child-rearing.
Which leads me to my next topic, “abandonment issues.†I’ve got abandonment issues up the wazoo and most of my close female friends suffer from the illness at some level as well. Once you take the plunge with someone, the fear is that they’ll vanish, disappear, go Poof!, walk out on you, leave you alone to rot. In your situation, there’s a guarantee of abandonment. She may be into you, but if she has her head on right she’s probably not going to want to sign up for that.
If you’re seriously interested in this girl, spend your time talking about what happens after she leaves. When you’ll next see each other, how much you want to keep in touch, stuff like that to quell her fears and help her understand that this is something you hope to continue on whatever level you decide. But if your approach is just, “let’s get it on before you get lost,†I can understand why she’s not…um…opening up.
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